I really meant to love you.
You got my heart.
Stay out of my mind.
That's where my demons hide.
Things you can't see,
The man you need who I won't let myself be.
I tried to explain.
You never understand me.
Here's to you two, and I mean both of you.
Out of spite? An honest mistake?
False hope, false faith.
I'm conflicted every single day that I wake.
I understand the concept of tough love,
But without a conscience or a beating chest,
You become an empty vessel, need to be laid to rest.
Innocence doesn't suit you well,
So drop the act and the story that you sell.
I'm not buying it.
Quit crying and face the problems that you made yourself.
In a sense, I can see your point of view.
We're all fucking humans in what we pursue,
But you didn't have to let those basic urges become the salt to my wound,
But you chose to in every little thing that you do.
With every move you make, every bone in me shakes,
But I don't have it in me to spite you.
All in all, what that I can see is an everlasting pattern in this heartless city.
Doesn't matter if it's you or if it's me,
The viscous circle creeps around eventually.
Do his hands soothe you the way that mine used to?
Does he understand the things that you have been through?
He knew me like I know you,
And if I could go back, I would have stayed
So when you're wide awake and you can't sleep,
Will you think of me?
And when he runs away and you've lost all faith,
Will you look for me?
I was scared to death.
You'd find out you're too good for me,
But I know I'm the one you fucking need.
Don't say that you're not right for me,
'Cause I know it's not what you really think.
Good memories gone to waste.
Say goodbye to the way your innocence used to taste.
The smell of cigarettes on her breath:
A reminder that you're all I have left,
But I don't know you anymore.
You said "move on, things changed,"
Then you slammed the door.
No one else comes in.
I can't hurt anymore,
But when i did, the thought of you kept me breathing.
released December 23, 2014
all rights reserved